Contra

Yeah. I remembered that I made this and was all like "Yeah! I'm gonna do something with this!" So... I should probably do something with this... Right?

Anyway, I wanted kick-start things back into high gear with a good review. For those of you who follow me on Facebook at all, you know that I recently came into possession of an old Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), complete with all the cords and a controller. Once I got my hands on some actual games, I tested it out, and a few peroxide-coated q-tips later, I was stompin' Goombas and using the Warp Zones to speed through Super Mario Bros. Fast-forward to December 16th, my birthday, where my roommate bought me a game she knew I would kill someone in front of their own mother for. That's right, Contra!

Without a doubt, Contra's one of my favorite games for many reasons. For one, Contra is a great example of how different video games were then than they are now. Today, (counting the directional pad as one button) the Playstation 3 controller has fourteen different buttons, two of them doubling as joysticks. Games today require extremely complex button combinations and various button input patterns in order to complete to long, drawn-out, cinema-like sequences and battles and whatnot.

Then there's a game like Contra: minimal plot, basic actions, and a rockin' soundtrack. And the result is bad-ass.

In Contra, you play as Bill Rizer (or Player Two can join in as Lance Bean), part of a special ops force sent in to destroy the evil Red Falcon organization, who has occupied a small South American country. Armed only with your rifle, you must infiltrate the enemy stronghold and return peace to the area. The game kind of sounds like the Schwarzeneggar/Stallone 80's movie that never happened, but would be totally awesome if it did. 

Controlling the character is one of the best parts of the game in my opinion, namely because of the simplicity. Basically, all you do is run, jump, duck, and shoot. Bill and Lance have a few tricks up their nonexistent sleeves, though. A new concept at the time, Bill and Lance can actually aim where the shoot, being able to aim in 8 different directions. Also, shooting special capsules and boxes will give you emblems, which can upgrade your weapon. These upgrades vary from adding rapid fire, shooting laser beams, temporary invincibility, and the infamous "Spread Shot." But more on that in just a second...

One can't mention Contra without referencing what might be its most memorable trait: the difficulty level. Put simply, the game is enough to make someone who's started playing video games within the last 4 years weep in the fetal position. The game is 8 stages of constant enemy bombardment. Enemies run straight for you, bombs are thrown from the trees, and alien birth-pods spew face-huggers right at you. To make things worse, you have very limited stamina: one hit, and you're done. You're given three lives and a gun. Have fun on your way through Hell!

Again, you have a few more tools at your disposal. Like I said earlier, one of the secrets to success in this game is the Spread Shot. This gun fires shots in an expanding pattern from your gun, spelling certain doom for whatever enemies happen to be in its range (which tends to be all of them). I often say to myself that, when playing a game with multiple weapons, that all of them could be great, depending on how you use each weapon. They all have their ups and downs, their pro's and cons, their strengths and weaknesses. Bullshit. The Spread Shot has no weaknesses. Until you do something stupid and die, you're a walking death-game of flashlight tag.

Also, this game is notable for making the "Konami Code" famous. Konami, the games developer, had a habit of putting the same code into all of its video games. What exactly the code produced varied from game to game, but chances are it's there. When you start up a game of Contra, press Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B. A, B, A, and Start, all before the logo makes it to the center of the screen. If you did it right, you'll start the game with thirty lives instead of the paltry three the games actually gives you. Good luck, 'cause you're gonna need all of them.

In the end, Contra is one of the most iconic and enjoyable NES games ever made. While some may view it as torture, I see a golden opportunity to relish in late 80's radicalness.